If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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