D3 body, D1 cock
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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