She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize