Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
