accomplished twins. life is a go
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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