when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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