so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
There's even glitter on my cock...
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