well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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