We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you made out with another girl for some wings
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
