I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
