just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Randomize
