No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
