Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
