And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
