cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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