I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
