Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
