he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
