just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
