It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
