we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
