somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
soo... how was my night?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
