for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
