At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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