how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
