I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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