omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
