Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
