i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
