you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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