Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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