I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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