i think my tv is drunk
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
