let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We're not piercing ourselves today.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
