Grow some girl-balls and come out already
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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