I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
