the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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