This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize