I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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