The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
