I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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