idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
