Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
