Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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