i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
