come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
