grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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