I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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