we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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