I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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