so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
