we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
