Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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