Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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