You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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